Don't Do It Alone: Michelle's Story of Dreams Left Waiting 

Between 2019 and 2022, Michelle Nell was supported to do her PhD in Psychology at the University of Stellenbosch. Michelle is a classical pianist and a researcher on disabilities. Her PhD research focused on improving access to meaningful employment for visually impaired individuals. Michelle is also blind. During her studies, this immensely talented woman faced the future with hope and transformative ambition.
Then in 2023, Michelle Nell noticed a creeping numbness in her feet. She could not have imagined that what was happening to her feet was the first symptom of a long, costly struggle to get answers. It was followed by years of inexplicable symptoms, countless medical tests, and inconclusive consultations.

“Actually, the journey to my diagnosis lasted over a decade, which is often the case for people with autoimmune conditions,” Michelle recalled. “My first indication that I wasn’t crazy came last October, when I went for an MRI and CT scan. The radiographer said this in an almost gossipy tone, implying that I’d get many answers to my questions. I was dying to know more, but they were legally bound not to say anything. Later, during a lumbar puncture, my doctor said they suspected MS. By February, they were still unsure and suggested Sjögren’s or Susac Syndrome too. In April, I finally got the diagnosis over the phone. Severe Relapsing Multiple Sclerosis (MS).”

Since then, life has become a series of unpredictable challenges for Michelle: fatigue so extreme that she cannot climb stairs or wash dishes; balance so poor that she falls even when standing still; tinnitus that ranges from low static to loud hissing; and cognitive fog so intense that she sometimes cannot recall or pronounce simple words. Michelle keeps a running list for her neurology team.

“I’ve lost my balance, literally,” she said. “The fear caused by losing balance and sensation has built up over time. I struggle with immense guilt about not achieving my goals. And the cognitive fog is terrifying. On bad days, it mimics Alzheimer’s dementia.”

For the professional musician, the progression of MS is particularly cruel. The possibility of losing her hearing threatens her independence and her creative identity. The precarity she finds herself in has forced her to sell her electric piano to cover medical bills. “That part of me died when I let it go. I hope musician Michelle will be revived at some point,” she mourned. Though a friend lent her another instrument, she avoids playing it. “It feels safer than facing another heartbreak when I have to return it.”
Her guide dog Luna remains her most constant companion. “She throws herself against my chest whenever I’m crying and won’t leave until she’s sure I’m okay,” Michelle said. Caring for Luna requires vet visits, medication, and a special diet that Michelle struggles to afford, yet she insists on keeping Luna healthy and happy.

What makes the struggle harder is the lack of systemic support and limited resources. Michelle has lost opportunities and faced years of doctors who dismissed her symptoms. Socially, she has been alienated by those who see her as unproductive. “People assume I’m lazy, maybe even opportunistic,” she said. “But MS chips away at your mobility, freedom, independence, and self-worth. I’m not lazy. My immune system is attacking my brain and nervous system.”

Yet even in the darkest moments, she has found community. Members of the Canon Collins Trust rallied around her, helping to fund her costly Ocrevus treatment, cover rent, and provide food for her and Luna. A group of blind musicians even staged a benefit concert in her honour. “That experience made me feel seen, valued, and held,” Michelle said. “Their generosity gave me back some faith in the world.”

Still, she faces an uncertain road. Her next round of treatment is scheduled for January 2026, but she urgently needs financial support in the months ahead to pay rent, buy food, and maintain her care. She dreams of finding freelance work to regain independence, but for now, she relies on kindness to survive.

What keeps her going is the proof that she is not alone. “Knowing that there are kind-hearted people out there who genuinely care about me is what gets me through,” she said. “We are better when we are together.”
If there is one message she wants readers to remember, it is this: “Don’t do it alone, whatever challenge life throws at you. It really does take a village. The time will come when I’ll feel better again, and then I’ll pay it forward. I can’t wait.”

Michelle has launched a crowdfunding campaign to cover her living and medical expenses. Every donation, share, or word of encouragement helps her stay afloat.
Crowdfunding link: BackaBuddy – Visions for Change
Direct support: Capitec Savings Account 1494327919